Sometimes, it feels like situations compound upon themselves.
Those who experience good fortune continue to have more of it. Others just can’t stay away from bad circumstances. It’s as if we’re stuck in an endless cycle, where our actions and their consequences further perpetuate the situation that we’re in.
One of the most alarming examples of this concerns social mobility, or the lack of it.
What’s in a name?
At only four years old, Yeou-Cheng Ma exhibited a clear talent for the violin.
Under the tutelage of her father, a Ph.D. student at the Paris Conservatory of Music, Yeou-Cheng began to play the instrument at two-and-a-half years old. Only a year later, she entered in her first competition against students ranging from fourteen to nineteen years old. She won.
Her violin teacher praised Yeou-Cheng’s ability to her mother, a vocal student who later sang opera. She said, “Your daughter is a brilliant musician. There’s no doubt in my mind that she inherits this talent from you and your husband…It’s in her genes.”
Finally, the teacher added: “Mrs. Ma, what I’m trying to tell you is that I think it is a great pity that you don’t plan on having another child.”
At the time, the three of them lived in a tiny apartment in Paris. They struggled to earn a living and had barely enough for themselves. Yet, four years after the birth of their daughter, a son was born in 1955. He was named Yo-Yo Ma.
When it comes to boosting people’s confidence, we hear the same pieces of advice all the time:
The problem with these phrases is that they assume people can simply build up courage on their own to achieve their goals. It makes us think that if we just put in the effort and try hard enough, we can become confident.
A lot of the times, we can’t.
“I knew there was something wrong about him.”
How many times we heard someone say this, or thought this in our heads? Whenever we feel conflicted about someone we meet, we hear the same thing over and over: “trust your gut.”
We might spend days, months, or even years trying to figure something out. Is there a good chance of succeeding in this new job? Should I trust her? The wheels in our head spin as we think of all the variables and how they’ll play out.
And still, we keep hearing that we should just listen to our instincts. Complicated questions, simple answer. What should we do, and where did this whole idea of the gut instinct come from, anyway?